Oh gosh, I love fall and pumpkin spiced lattes. I love the colors of our trees in the backyard, but it is a very different experience from the love I feel for my husband, children, and gorgeous granddaughter.

Do you end calls with family with a quick "love you !" Or sign the bottom of birthday greetings the same way? Hear the phrases "love that new coat on you" and "loved that show on Netflix!" We have watered down what it means to love. What does it mean to you to love your neighbor?

If I can't love my neighbor like I love myself
If I won't move when my brother cries out for help
If I'm too proud to forgive before the sun goes down
Then this life that I've been living what does it mean now

None of my love comes close to the love that God has lavished on us. We will continually fall short of this unrestrained expression of love while we continue to practice loving only those who are easy to love. Try working it out when the road is rocky, the other is difficult, and your strength is weak.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And this is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
1 John 3:1

Something struck me listening to this song by Pat Barrett and Dante Bowe's "Nothing/ Something. " The back and forth sharing of the phrases reminded me that the invitation to love others is something I need help to do. I am not good at it on my own, and I don't have to look hard to notice some of you are not good at it either.

Our love billows over when there is no risk, and it blooms easy. It is a whole other workout loving the people around us who are challenging. Maybe they masquerade as our neighbors, but they are often our siblings, children, partners, or friends. These relationships expose our incapacity to love well.

Out of one corner of our mouths, we say as for me and my house, we serve the Lord...and then whisper words of judgment on our brothers and sisters. It is the kind of bait and switch that my non-Christian friends find disorienting with the church, seeing a love that looks sloppy and exclusive.

I could say I love my neighbor, but it does not nearly shine as bright alongside the love I hold for my children. My love for my neighbor is dim at best. I hardly know my neighbor. With complete transparency, there are some neighbors I don't wish to know at all. And don't get me started on that one person (or two) who grate on my nerves, leaving me rigid from all the tongue biting I do around them.

Show me how to love like You
Cause if I don't have love it means nothing

My love for people and how much I give depends on a few things. How they treat me and how invested I am in their well-being. If I am irritated, I have been known to withhold love, and I shut down, remaining emotionally disconnected. What is your modus operandi? We tend to have a predictable way of discrediting, minimizing or invalidating another's experience. Do you move away because, you know, they don't know the Lord like you do? Or, they don't have the education, experience, money like you do? What pattern do you choose when dealing with difficult people who don't think like you, dress like you or work as you do, so you do not have to love them?

I don't want to sound like a crashing cymbal
I don't want to be some empty noise
I'm down on my knees, Lord I surrender
Jesus help me to love with a love like Yours

My least favorite place to linger is a church foyer. The perfunctory meeting, greeting, and hand-shaking turns my insides like we are gearing up to head onto the main stage for a performance. One part of me wants to feel a part of the group and searches for someone I recognize to talk to; another part wants to make a beeline to my preferred seat in the auditorium to avoid making small talk with anyone.

When I show up in a church foyer, my "on again off again" love dial switches on. I show interest, smile, ask you about the details I remember from last week. And we have this interaction that at the moment feels like we love one another, but at best, we are being kind. Kindness is love's cousin, for sure, but it is a part not the fullness of God's love. Foyer's are easy places to pretend we love one another.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16

For God so loved. He so loved. He doesn't love the world the way I love the changing colors of Fall, or a long walk along a riverbank. His love created. His love created all I know and hold dear. His love sacrificed comfort, set-aside fame, notoriety and chose a humble beginning with a horrific ending instead. His love did this for me. It was a profoundly personal, intimate act of love. This ending paid the highest price and bought my freedom for eternity-THAT is love.

If I can't love my neighbor like I love myself
If I won't move when my brother cries out for help
If I'm too proud to forgive before the sun goes down
Then this life that I've been living what does it mean now

My prayer today as I recognized once again my ineptitude to love well: Jesus, loving the people you created is not a task I can do alone. Help me. Show me what You see. Fill me with Your love so I can do better. Your love is an indescribable gift, and I want to be ready to give it to others - even when it is a challenging task to do so.

Tracey Dahl, M.A. is a writer and Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) in Langley, BC (Canada). She is married to Ryan Dahl (Founder of PraiseCharts) and the mother of four grown children. Nothing / Something was written by Pat Barrett and featured on the Nothing / Something album.